Showing posts from February, 2009

Friday Night Madness

The rain was pouring out of the sky like a giant pitcher of water being poured into a shot glass. Roads were flooded and the little island just below the water fall had disappeared from sight. Tornadoes had been spotted earlier and the weather service warned against being out on the road due to power lines down and low visibility.

This was the scene when I discovered my teenager had snuck out in the car.

My 16 year old son had asked if he and a friend could go somewhere in the car. I said no and explained the weather situation to him. He had a friend over whose parents had given him the same warning. Stay put they were told.

The rain had let up and they asked if they could walk over to another friend's house who lived in the neighborhood. I said that was okay...just do not take a car.

They took the car.

I decided to call and check on them and let them know it was getting late and I wanted them to come home. (I was sleepy and needed my beauty rest) He told me okay and would be rig…

No Pain-No Gain? Yeah Right

I have never experienced such pain and agony in my whole life. Birthing babies is a distant 2nd. I should have been more prepared, heck I just shouldn't have done it! What was I thinking? I guess I thought I was willing to pay the price. I just had no idea it would be this painful.

I got my lip waxed.

How do these people do it? I thought, well I've been doing my eyebrows for years, this shouldn't be too much worse. WRONG! When she ripped that cloth of death off of my lip I cussed her like a sailor. (That was after I bitched slapped her) I tried to regain composure and apologized to the other clients who were in earshot. I did not apologize to the lady who did it because I think she was enjoying it way too much. Have you ever seen the movie 40 year old virgin? Do you remember the chest waxing scene? Well, that was me, expect I didn't yell Kelly Clarkson.

I braced myself again as she began applying the molten hot wax to the other side of my upper lip. Now that I tru…

Do Baby Birds drive Cars?

I watched the little white car go up the street carrying my most precious cargo. It felt strange seeing those two little heads through the windows nodding and moving past my house. Those little heads used to be so small and round and covered with baby chick fuzz. It's hard to believe that I once held those precious tiny heads in my arms. Eyes that use to look up at me with wonder and surprise were now focused straight ahead on a road that lie before them.

How do they do it? How do they grow up so fast right before your eyes?

My oldest got a car, he is 16 years old now. This morning he took his brother to school who is 13 years old. I watched them drive off, a little nervous, but I knew they would be fine. It just looked so strange to see them in the front seats of a car with one of them actually driving the car! I wonder if this is how a mama bird feels when her babies fly out of the nest? Silly, I know but I really did feel a weird feeling in my heart, somewhat sad, but somewhat p…

Roman Soldiers and Triscuits!

I got up this morning with a terrible headache. I don't know if it's just sinus or I drank too much wine last night. I went over my normal 2 glasses without eating any supper. Well I ate some triscuits, does that count? By the way, they were delicious. I tried a new flavor. It's called Fire Roasted Tomato with Olive Oil. YUM! If you haven't tried it and like triscuits (good source of fiber for me!) go get some. Here is what the box looks like.

Besides eating triscuits and drinking wine last night, I helped my son finish a school project. He had to make a Roman Soldier out of a 20 oz coke bottle. We just gathered things from around the house to decorate it. My son is very creative and came up with unusual things to use. The top of the soldier's helmet is a toothbrush head. How cool is that? His shield looks really cool too. What I really like is what he used for the armor. It's duck tape in strips layered to look like armour. I think he did good. Here are som…

I ran out of toilet paper

Have you ever let yourself run slap out of toilet paper? I'm sitting on the toilet last night and yell for toilet paper. I hear a yell back-there is none! "Not even in the other bathroom?", I yell. I hear back; "nope". OMG! What can I do? There was no Kleenex either! I look over in the trash can beside me to see if there was maybe some half-way clean paper that I blew my nose on and it could be recycled for a wipe. (I know, disgusting-but so is this whole story) There wasn't any that could be salvaged.

I think; "cotton balls?"

No those wouldn't get the job done. "What about the empty cardboard roll?" Naaah...
Finally I decided on the hand towel. Luckily this was only number 1 and not number 2.
Mental note:Add TP to the grocery store list.

Aliens vs Grandma

I know I have not posted in quite a while and I apologize for being such a slug. I do want to give you the run down of the last two weeks as part of my explanation as to why I haven't posted.

First I was abducted by aliens and returned to Earth just last night.


I just couldn't come up with the words nor the time for words. Isn't that terrible? Have any of you just ran out of something to say? Is this what they call writer's block? I still don't have anything to say but I'm at least going to tell you this so you don't think I died. Maybe it's just because I haven't felt very funny or entertaining lately. What? Are you saying I'm never funny or entertaining? Well, I could tell you some jokes, but I don't know any good ones. How does Tiffany Shaw over at Stuck in the Sticks come up with such hilarious posts on a daily basis? That girl has got talent.

Well I do want to publicly thank Nikki Crumpet of Blah Blah Blog for sending…