Women Changing Their World

I have never experienced such pain and agony in my whole life. Birthing babies is a distant 2 nd . I should have been more prepared, heck I just shouldn't have done it! What was I thinking? I guess I thought I was willing to pay the price. I just had no idea it would be this painful. I got my lip waxed. How do these people do it? I thought, well I've been doing my eyebrows for years, this shouldn't be too much worse. WRONG! When she ripped that cloth of death off of my lip I cussed her like a sailor. (That was after I bitched slapped her) I tried to regain composure and apologized to the other clients who were in earshot. I did not apologize to the lady who did it because I think she was enjoying it way too much. Have you ever seen the movie 40 year old virgin? Do you remember the chest waxing scene? Well, that was me, expect I didn't yell Kelly Clarkson . I braced myself again as she began applying the molten hot wax to the other side of my upper lip. Now that...

I know I have not posted in quite a while and I apologize for being such a slug. I do want to give you the run down of the last two weeks as part of my explanation as to why I haven't posted. First I was abducted by aliens and returned to Earth just last night. Okay...really..... I just couldn't come up with the words nor the time for words. Isn't that terrible? Have any of you just ran out of something to say? Is this what they call writer's block? I still don't have anything to say but I'm at least going to tell you this so you don't think I died. Maybe it's just because I haven't felt very funny or entertaining lately. What? Are you saying I'm never funny or entertaining? Well, I could tell you some jokes, but I don't know any good ones. How does Tiffany Shaw over at Stuck in the Sticks come up with such hilarious posts on a daily basis? That girl has got talent. Well I do want to publicly thank Nikki Crumpet of Blah Blah Blog for s...

Yesterday was my annual visit to the OB- GYN . Oh what fun! Everyone can relate I'm sure. However, if your are under 40 there are things you may not have experienced yet that I have been so rudely introduced to on this last visit. First the mammogram should be called the pancake-o-gram. My God! This hurts. I know this is necessary due to breast cancer awareness, but can't we come up with a better way to check out those girls? I asked the tech if she had ever had one to pop on her, not yet, she said...ha ha. She said the reason it was hurting "me" so bad was because I was so "dense". I said; "What?" She meant my breast were very dense, not much fatty tissue so that makes the "mashing" hurt more. I'm glad to know that my breast are thin since the rest of my body is full of fat! Thanks, lady. I went in with a list this time. Do you ever get in front of the doctor and completely forget what all you wanted to tell him about? I was prepa...

This is a post that I did not write. I had a similar experience recently and it reminded me of this hilarious story I received through email awhile back. I'm not sure who actually wrote it but try not to pee yourself while reading it. I almost did! The first thing my mother taught me was to grab a handful of toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Lesson two was learning to assume 'The position'. This required carefully balancing over the toilet in a squatting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. That was a long time ago. Even now, in my forties, 'The Position' is excruciatingly difficult to maintain for more than thirty seconds, especially when one's bladder is bursting. If that wasn't bad enough, when you have to visit a public restroom, you ...