Depression and me

Well up to this point I've only posted news articles, quick tid bits and pictures. I guess it's time to talk about some real life stuff. I've been battling depression for years, probably my entire life, but I wasn't diagnosed until 1996. I knew I could be very high strung at times then completely crash and hide under my covers for days but I didn't have a name for that behavior until I heard the doctor say "clinical depression".

The strange thing about the doctor who diagnosed me was he was not a psychiatrist he was a neurologist. I was having migraines. He prescribed Zoloft which also helped with headaches. I don't recall feeling significantly better or worse. I went from doctor to doctor with different types of aliments who all wanted to change my depression medicine until finally one day I cracked and had a nervous breakdown. Of course there was a lot going on in my life at that time-divorce, young children, money problems, etc....the list goes on and on. That happened to me in April of 2001. After the episode, I slowly started putting my life back together and tried to get a hold on this depression thing which now had a new name; depression/anxiety disorder. This called for Prozac now. I stayed with Prozac for a long time...it did seem to make a difference in my life.

However as more time passed I felt like it stopped working and once again I got on the SSRI train and went up and down until I collapsed again. That was just as recent as a year and half ago. Today I take Cymbalta which keeps me even keeled enough. I do not want to be on anti-depressants but when I try to come off of them terrible things happen!

If there is anyone else out there who has experienced depression you know how debilitating it can be. I get through life one day at a time. Some days are terrific others not so much, but I keep going and I try to stay positive. I know adding exercise to my daily routine would help, but I'm so darn lazy! After I work all day, help kids with homework, cook, clean up I'm ready for bed and nothing else. I have started walking about a mile and half around my neighborhood in the mornings. I'm hoping with the cooler weather coming on that I will make it a habit.

Well, there's my big secret- DEPRESSION. If you know me very well you already now that about me. I do think it's something that women should talk about and share words of encouragement with each other and not be ashamed to say you have depression. It is not a mental problem-it is a medical condition. If you are experiencing depression, sadness, anxiety-don't feel alone-seek help and don't be ashamed.

Comments

Anonymous said…
That's my story, repeat migraines, diagnosed and put on prozac in 1989 by a neurologist. I took it until 2001 and it quit working. I changed to everything under the sun taking Paxil during my pregnancy bc it had the lowest risk factor. Now, cymbalta and welbutrin together, high dose of one, minimum of the other and the combination is great. I write about this often on my blog and have entire category dedicated to it because I suffer and I can't stand the judgmental people.

A chemical imbalance is weird, period, no matter how anyone looks at it. And, if you have a chemical imbalance, you need to take the medication. You would stop taking insulin if you had diabetes or synthroid if you had a thyroid disorder, so just be ok, with a chemical imbalance and treat it accordingly.

Ok, stepping down off my soapbox.
Anonymous said…
Hi Michelle,

I found your blog through a comment you left on ours. And boy, I am already hooked. Especially on this topic. I have struggled with it for years. It was refreshing to find someone else who has had all the same issues. I am not alone! Wow.

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