Saturday, September 13, 2008

Depression and me

Well up to this point I've only posted news articles, quick tid bits and pictures. I guess it's time to talk about some real life stuff. I've been battling depression for years, probably my entire life, but I wasn't diagnosed until 1996. I knew I could be very high strung at times then completely crash and hide under my covers for days but I didn't have a name for that behavior until I heard the doctor say "clinical depression".

The strange thing about the doctor who diagnosed me was he was not a psychiatrist he was a neurologist. I was having migraines. He prescribed Zoloft which also helped with headaches. I don't recall feeling significantly better or worse. I went from doctor to doctor with different types of aliments who all wanted to change my depression medicine until finally one day I cracked and had a nervous breakdown. Of course there was a lot going on in my life at that time-divorce, young children, money problems, etc....the list goes on and on. That happened to me in April of 2001. After the episode, I slowly started putting my life back together and tried to get a hold on this depression thing which now had a new name; depression/anxiety disorder. This called for Prozac now. I stayed with Prozac for a long time...it did seem to make a difference in my life.

However as more time passed I felt like it stopped working and once again I got on the SSRI train and went up and down until I collapsed again. That was just as recent as a year and half ago. Today I take Cymbalta which keeps me even keeled enough. I do not want to be on anti-depressants but when I try to come off of them terrible things happen!

If there is anyone else out there who has experienced depression you know how debilitating it can be. I get through life one day at a time. Some days are terrific others not so much, but I keep going and I try to stay positive. I know adding exercise to my daily routine would help, but I'm so darn lazy! After I work all day, help kids with homework, cook, clean up I'm ready for bed and nothing else. I have started walking about a mile and half around my neighborhood in the mornings. I'm hoping with the cooler weather coming on that I will make it a habit.

Well, there's my big secret- DEPRESSION. If you know me very well you already now that about me. I do think it's something that women should talk about and share words of encouragement with each other and not be ashamed to say you have depression. It is not a mental problem-it is a medical condition. If you are experiencing depression, sadness, anxiety-don't feel alone-seek help and don't be ashamed.
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