Women Changing Their World

webster's definition: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. If you look this up it also includes my name beside it: Michelle "stress" Morgan. I stay stressed out and I don't know why. My doctor told me yesterday that I worry too much which causes stress that leads to depression and anxiety. He suggested I go to church. LOL! Have you ever heard of a doctor telling you to go to church? Well..it's not a bad idea. I am beginning to see the benefits of positive thinking, prayer and meditation. I just have a hard time making the time to do it. Time to go get ready for work before the baby wakes up....now I'm stressing!!!

My sweet baby girl.

So I thought I would start this thing back up. I looked at it today and all of the photos are blanked out with a gray box with a white line through it. What's up with that? How do I fix this? Is anyone out there? Beuler...

This is ridiculous! I cannot get myself out of the funk. I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill, I sat in the sunlight, I read jokes but nothing is helping. I hate depression. I hate that I have it. I hate the doctor who told me I had it and put me on meds 15 years ago and that now I can't seem to live without them.

I feel horrible right now. I'm so down on myself. I'm fat, work is stressful, house is dirty, car battery died....I mean what else can happen??? Oh yeah, the cat bit me. Balance. What does that mean? How do you get it? I can't seem to find it. If I focus in on something to make it better then I ignore everything else. If I focus really hard on work to get ahead then I can't clean my house or want to go do anything with my kids. If I get my house spotless, clothes washed, etc then I am behind on work. I'm depressed. This sucks. Somebody throw me a bone. signed, not the high wire act

Did not live up to Day 1.

Stopped drinking wine . I believe this has become a problem for me not to mention it's not healthy. To make a large statement about it I threw away the bottle of wine that was in the fridge in front of my boyfriend. (he wasn't very impressed). To take it's place as an evening stress reliever - winedown, I will walk. Not run, not jog, just simply walk and see how far that will take me. I'm 45 years old and it's time (past time!) for me to begin living healthier. One step at a time. Here's my creed to live by now..... "Today is the first day of the rest of my life.... Time to get busy living or get busy dying... ...my choice."

Sitting here at my kitchen table with laptop and 5,000 scattered pieces of paper trying to work. My brain just won't focus. There is a painter working on my house and my cat is jumping all over my papers so excited about the work going on outside. There is a sink full of dirty dishes sitting behind me and a pile of laundry to my left. Can somebody just shoot me now? POW!

I'm not sure why I'm writing today. I actually have nothing to say. However I feel I must push myself to write and express feelings through my little fingers on this keyboard. I guess I can just tell you about my day. 6am: woke up. (always a good thing) 8am: checked emails (pretend to be working) 11am: ate a bacon sandwich (low-cal, right?) 2pm: went to grocery store! 3pm: had a phone meeting with prospective client (thumbs up!) 3:30pm: had a disappointing call with a current client who's order got all messed up. (not so nice) 4:00pm: Poured my first glass of wine for the evening. 4:27pm: Began to write about it in my blog post. Wow...could this day have been any brighter?? LOL!

New year, new you? How many times have I said that to my self? What does it really take to make positive changes in one's life? I mean come on, why does it have to be so freaking hard? You know what I'm talking about. Eating right, exercising, keeping up with current events and fashions! Doing all of these things while still doing our job (stressful one at that), taking care of kids (the teenaged kind-worst) and managing expenses while keeping the house always looking "presentable" GIVE ME A BREAK! I'm tired. I'm looking for some kind of cure-all! Who has all of the answers? I welcome comments. PS-I need to lose 30lbs too. Give me some tips on that too! As you see below I am praying to the green leaves of the giant bamboo forest for guidance and patience. I don't think its working....

My day sucks. it's raining-tornado and thunderstorms. That kind of weather depresses me. :( My cat is on my nerves. I can't get any work done because she wants to claw my feet or jump on my laptop. I'm thinking today that she may make a lovely hat. meow!

Since I am trying to write something every day (even if I have nothing to say) here is my post on Day 2 of getting back on the blog train. Here is a brief overview of what has happened to me over this past year: Got new boyfriend (he's a hottie) My youngest son turned 16 - got drivers license. - a little stressful Sent my oldest son off to college - stressful Changes positions within my company - more stress now! Went to N.O. for first time to see Mardi Gras Went to Las Vegas for 2nd time - Yes both Sin Cities in the same year. I'm still trying to bath off all of the filth. Went parasailing for the first time ever with my 16 year old son - he was braver than I! Gained 15 more pounds Lost 20 pounds! Gained 20 pounds back :( Got a new kitten - she is the devil dressed up as a kitten Got a new hair cut Well I guess that about sums it up. I'm sure there are some other events sprinkled in there that I have forgotten but if anything of real interest returns to my fe...

I went to sleep one night when I was 40 years old and woke up the next morning 45 years old. Did I enter a time warp or something? According to my face and my body I was rode hard and put up wet. I can't believe how old I feel right now and much time has stampeded across my face! Hi my name is Michelle and I am a returning blogger. I fell off the wagon wheel (love that song by the way) of blogging and I'm going to try to climb back on. In the meantime, please enjoy the music. :)

Austin, Austin, AUSTIN!!! Is that you in the kitchen? (asked for the 4th time-from where I'm sitting in the living room which is right next to kitchen) Finally, a very small weak "yes" comes from the kitchen- sounded like a tiny squeaky mouse. Why aren't you answering me? "I didn't hear you"; he said. So do they hear and ignore on purpose or have the truly tuned out the sound of our voices? His hearing seems to come and go. He can hear me when I say "do you want to order a pizza?" or "do you need some money?" It's other times like when I say" can you clean the kitchen?" or things like pick up your clothes, take out the trash and did you feed the dog that he becomes stone deaf. I worry. I hope there is a cure for his sudden onsets of deafness.

Well my second post of 2011. How exciting! well...sorta. I know I can get back into the swing of things if I keep moving forward. Let's take a look at my life: Work: so, so. I enjoy my co-workers, I like my boss, what I do...not so much. The people make it fun for me. Social: I don't have many girlfriends. I don't know why either. I suppose because all of my time is divided between my two boys and my boyfriend. I would like to have my girl time. Relationship: Clint is a wonderful man. Our relationship is a long distance one (hour apart) but we do enjoy our time together and always look forward to seeing each other. I want to see us grow. Child Rearing: This is the toughest area of my life but also the most important one. Teenagers are very very very difficult. I strive to improve in this area every day. I love my two boys. I always say "One is my heart the other is my soul" :) Things I want to do more of: Exercise, outdoors stuff, home decor, girlfriend time, visi...

I have not written in quite some time. I'm not sure why. I believe I just ran out of things to say. Since this is a new year I thought I would pick it back up again. (I guess have some things to say now!) ALOT has happened from end of 2009 to today. I broke off a 4.5 year relationship, lost weight, gained it back, fell in love again and have so far lived through the trials and tribulations of raising two teen aged boys. My oldest is 18 and the day he turned it he thought he was the total master of his domain. I couldn't believe had given birth to such a creature. He was horrible. Thing are now finally calming down ( I hope). My youngest, 15 years old, has fallen in love. He is on cloud 9 when she is around. It's a little bit scary for me. I'm not ready for grand parenthood. I need both of them to graduate college so they can take care of me! At least that is what I keep telling them. I met a guy on Face book that I went to high school with back in the dark ages. He are ...

Happy Fall! Cooler weather has finally arrived. This is my favorite time of the year.

My son spends the night with one of his friends. When he comes home he asked me why I don't get up on Saturdays and cook him pancakes and bacon like his friend's mom does. Then the lecture began.... I'm sorry, but I work all day-all week long. I get up every morning at 5:30 and prepare your breakfast, come home and take care of as much laundry and housework that I can while making sure you boys have your homework done and take care of any of school stuff that is due the next day. I have to fix supper (which sometimes is a grilled cheese and can of soup) feed the dog and the cat because no one else will do it. hint hint. That is why i don't get up early on Saturdays and fix pancakes. As a matter of fact, you should be getting up fixing ME pancakes! Oh, he says.

When did I become so dull? I was just sitting here analyzing my day to day routine and realized that all I do is work, parent two teenagers (very hard), clean house and pay bills. That is my life in a nutshell. Where's the fun? Where's the excitement? The most excitement I've had in a while is when my cat gave birth to her kittens. Can you believe it? When I die my tombstone will say "here lies the dullest person to ever live" . Okay, time for a change. I need to try sky diving, bungee jumping, deep sea fishing....something! Please give me some suggestions. What do most 43 year old women (single moms) do for fun? I need a hobby. What kind of hobby can I take up? I will admit right now that I have a short attention span and I get bored quickly. I'm probably ADD. I feel I have an adventurous spirit, but I have this other side that is do darn responsible and logical. I talk myself in of and out things all of the time. I have been this way my whole life. Wanting ...

So what is today all about? Remembrance. That was a horrible day in US history. I've never witnessed such tragedy in my lifetime before or since. My heart goes out to all of those families affected by 9/11. Things like that should never happen to us, or anybody on God's Green Earth. I have to get ready for work, yuck, but I felt I needed to post a little something today in remembering that day. I hope everybody has a good day and a wonderful weekend. God Bless Everyone.