Women Changing Their World

This is ridiculous! I cannot get myself out of the funk. I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill, I sat in the sunlight, I read jokes but nothing is helping. I hate depression. I hate that I have it. I hate the doctor who told me I had it and put me on meds 15 years ago and that now I can't seem to live without them.

I feel horrible right now. I'm so down on myself. I'm fat, work is stressful, house is dirty, car battery died....I mean what else can happen??? Oh yeah, the cat bit me. Balance. What does that mean? How do you get it? I can't seem to find it. If I focus in on something to make it better then I ignore everything else. If I focus really hard on work to get ahead then I can't clean my house or want to go do anything with my kids. If I get my house spotless, clothes washed, etc then I am behind on work. I'm depressed. This sucks. Somebody throw me a bone. signed, not the high wire act

Did not live up to Day 1.

Stopped drinking wine . I believe this has become a problem for me not to mention it's not healthy. To make a large statement about it I threw away the bottle of wine that was in the fridge in front of my boyfriend. (he wasn't very impressed). To take it's place as an evening stress reliever - winedown, I will walk. Not run, not jog, just simply walk and see how far that will take me. I'm 45 years old and it's time (past time!) for me to begin living healthier. One step at a time. Here's my creed to live by now..... "Today is the first day of the rest of my life.... Time to get busy living or get busy dying... ...my choice."

Sitting here at my kitchen table with laptop and 5,000 scattered pieces of paper trying to work. My brain just won't focus. There is a painter working on my house and my cat is jumping all over my papers so excited about the work going on outside. There is a sink full of dirty dishes sitting behind me and a pile of laundry to my left. Can somebody just shoot me now? POW!

I'm not sure why I'm writing today. I actually have nothing to say. However I feel I must push myself to write and express feelings through my little fingers on this keyboard. I guess I can just tell you about my day. 6am: woke up. (always a good thing) 8am: checked emails (pretend to be working) 11am: ate a bacon sandwich (low-cal, right?) 2pm: went to grocery store! 3pm: had a phone meeting with prospective client (thumbs up!) 3:30pm: had a disappointing call with a current client who's order got all messed up. (not so nice) 4:00pm: Poured my first glass of wine for the evening. 4:27pm: Began to write about it in my blog post. Wow...could this day have been any brighter?? LOL!

New year, new you? How many times have I said that to my self? What does it really take to make positive changes in one's life? I mean come on, why does it have to be so freaking hard? You know what I'm talking about. Eating right, exercising, keeping up with current events and fashions! Doing all of these things while still doing our job (stressful one at that), taking care of kids (the teenaged kind-worst) and managing expenses while keeping the house always looking "presentable" GIVE ME A BREAK! I'm tired. I'm looking for some kind of cure-all! Who has all of the answers? I welcome comments. PS-I need to lose 30lbs too. Give me some tips on that too! As you see below I am praying to the green leaves of the giant bamboo forest for guidance and patience. I don't think its working....